Poetry For your comment...

Someone posted the following:

I like the last poem (Stuck and Unstuck Love) because it was interesting to read something that happens to couples portrayed through birds. The author did an excellent job creating a picture because she used several adjectives and metaphors. One metaphor i liked in paticular was "Sparks were dancing between us". When the birds were seperated by the wind it was very touching and created a lot of emotion which is essential to have if you want to make an effective poem.


Do you agree with this comment? Why? or Why not?
What is it that makes the comment "Sparks were dancing between us" so effective?

What is your favourite line in this poem?
What emotions does it leave you feeling?

 

Stuck and Unstuck Love 

 

We were two birds stuck
On the wire between the telephone poles.
We were perched
Just far enough so our wings could not touch.
Sparks danced between us,
Sizzling on the electrical wire,
And all we could do was gaze
Into each other's beady eyes.

But when we did,
We felt like we were soaring
Above rooftops, and treetops, circling each other
But we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our feet gripped and could not ungrip
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.

We looked at each other,
Sorrow in our black eyes
As we began to realize
There was no point in wasting time.
For we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our talons grew tired from gripping,
Our hearts became weary of wishing,
And we little by little accepted the heartrending truth.
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.

Until one day,
A gusty wind came
And toppled our telephone poles
That had once held us in place.
We could stretch our talons.
We were two birds unstuck and free.

I flew and flew and flew away,
So shocked that I was unhandcuffed
Until I found you flew another way.
And it was with the freedom that the
wind finally gave
That I lost the love I had always meant
to save.

Some free verse poetry samples for you. Which ones do you prefer and why?

A Cannibal in Love
By ZiXiang Z., Ridgewood, NY
I want to make a feast out of you
your fat swollen chops would be great
nourishment for my lovesick mind
your savory lips pack the flaky crunch
that goes
perfectly with crimson molasses like my
dear honey bear draining the life out of its belly
oh yes! the belly!
my tongue yearns for medium rare sausages …
your tubular will do perfectly
fillets off your midsection
still fresh and perfect for sushi
won’t you say?
I can’t wait to get a bite out of you and
won’t you want a piece of me too?

All I Need Is a Friend

By Ryan M., Mt. Prospect, IL

Photo credit: Mariana O., Tecate, CA

Books fill up my room.
Not baseball cards,
or pictures of girls,
or basketballs.
Maybe a blown up picture of …
… Pam Anderson might help.

Black-framed glasses
and a white,
pale,
lanky
body.
I should start working out.

At least I can read.
I read four books a day last summer.
The librarian,
80-year-old Mrs. Woodsworth,
she knows my middle name.
If only I had a real friend.
I am sick of seeing her old,
bony,
pale body.
Although it resembles mine.

The kids at school laugh.
Is it the way I dress?
Lacoste,
Ralph Lauren,
La Tigre.
I’ve tried every designer out there.
Staying in the house really saves me money.
My stupid rich parents give me $50 a week for lunch.
$50 times 36 weeks …
what is that?
$1,000,
$2,000,
$10,000?
I should probably know.
Straight A’s 12 years in a row
and counting.

With all of this,
or none of this –
it depends how you look at it –
all I need is a friend.

Stuck and Unstuck Love 

 

We were two birds stuck
On the wire between the telephone poles.
We were perched
Just far enough so our wings could not touch.
Sparks danced between us,
Sizzling on the electrical wire,
And all we could do was gaze
Into each other's beady eyes.

But when we did,
We felt like we were soaring
Above rooftops, and treetops, circling each other
But we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our feet gripped and could not ungrip
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.

We looked at each other,
Sorrow in our black eyes
As we began to realize
There was no point in wasting time.
For we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our talons grew tired from gripping,
Our hearts became weary of wishing,
And we little by little accepted the heartrending truth.
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.

Until one day,
A gusty wind came
And toppled our telephone poles
That had once held us in place.
We could stretch our talons.
We were two birds unstuck and free.

I flew and flew and flew away,
So shocked that I was unhandcuffed
Until I found you flew another way.
And it was with the freedom that the
wind finally gave
That I lost the love I had always meant
to save.

Free Verse

Free verse does not have a set pattern of rhyme or rhythm.  There are no rules about line length in free verse. You try to keep the words that belong together on the same line, but, sometimes the poet will break these words if he/she wants to create a visual shape to support the poem's message, or feeling that the poet wishes the reader to experience.   The poet may wish to put special emphasis on a word he/she has used so he will that word a line to itself, or place it on the next line so the reader notices it or is surprised by the poet's use of the word . Often a poet will end a line because it feels right to him/her to do so.    The poet chooses the length of  each line and the length of the poem according to the message, or feeling he/she wishes to communicate to his/her reader.  When free verse is read aloud the reader can hear the rhythm of the words that the poet has used in his/her poem. Think of it as spoken music.    
Topic
Anything and everything can be the topic of a  free verse lyrical  poem.  The poem can tell a story, describe a person, animal, feeling or object.  They can serious, sad, funny or  educational.  What ever subject that appeals to the poet can end up in free verse.
Language
The poet attempts to describe his/her subject with language that shows, not tells.   For example, instead of writing " We had so much fun today.", the poet would  write "They wore smiles all the way home."  The idea being that a grinning face is more descriptive of the fun they had. It also leaves a stronger impression with the reader.  Free verse poetry tries to capture images , convey meaning ,or emotions through the use of lyrical phrases that will get the poet's message across without a lot of telling.  Free verse poets use figurative language devices such as metaphors, similes, and personification to create these phrases.