Someone posted the following:
I like the last poem (Stuck and Unstuck Love) because it was interesting to read something that happens to couples portrayed through birds. The author did an excellent job creating a picture because she used several adjectives and metaphors. One metaphor i liked in paticular was "Sparks were dancing between us". When the birds were seperated by the wind it was very touching and created a lot of emotion which is essential to have if you want to make an effective poem.
Do you agree with this comment? Why? or Why not?
What is it that makes the comment "Sparks were dancing between us" so effective?
What is your favourite line in this poem?
What emotions does it leave you feeling?
Stuck and Unstuck Love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
We were perched
Just far enough so our wings could not touch.
Sparks danced between us,
Sizzling on the electrical wire,
And all we could do was gaze
Into each other's beady eyes.
But when we did,
We felt like we were soaring
Above rooftops, and treetops, circling each other
But we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our feet gripped and could not ungrip
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.
We looked at each other,
Sorrow in our black eyes
As we began to realize
There was no point in wasting time.
For we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our talons grew tired from gripping,
Our hearts became weary of wishing,
And we little by little accepted the heartrending truth.
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.
Until one day,
A gusty wind came
And toppled our telephone poles
That had once held us in place.
We could stretch our talons.
We were two birds unstuck and free.
I flew and flew and flew away,
So shocked that I was unhandcuffed
Until I found you flew another way.
And it was with the freedom that the
wind finally gave
That I lost the love I had always meant
to save.
Saloni T.
ReplyDeleteDo you agree with this comment? Why? or Why not?
I agree because I also think the author portrayed the relationships of humans in an interesting way. Also, I think the poem was very emotional and touching and the metaphors and similes help with the interesting part because connections in different ways are useful to understand what the author is trying to convey.
What is it that makes the comment "Sparks were dancing between us" so effective?
It's really effective because I can connect it to another saying that I've heard "the spark" which means two certain people felt a spark between them or a connection between them. Also, it was you think about what the author is trying to say without even saying it.
What is your favourite line in this poem?
What emotions does it leave you feeling?
My favourite line was the last one "That I lost the love I had always meant
to save." I liked this one because it's very emotional and neat in a way that the author made it very simple but very effective at the same time. The emotions it leaves me feeling are sorrow because it's sad that the two birds got split up even though one of them was supposed to save the other because technically what the writer meant (in my eyes) was that the other bird thought they were supposed to be together and they were perfect together (hence the line i LOST the love I has always meant to SAVE.)
yes i agree- to get a successful piece of writing you have to make sure the reader feels the emotion you do or different types of emotions that should run through you. that line is so effective because it doesn't actually mean that there were sparks between them it means that the love they have for each other created these beautiful sparks. my favourite line is That I lost the love I had always meant
ReplyDeleteto save. it is sosososoosooooso strong and powerful. it has so much meaning in it and something you protect or want too protect - they just leave you. it has so emotion in it i had to stop and think about this sentence wheni read it . WOW
JAPNAM
Roohit G.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this comment because adjectives and metaphors are both used to describe a scene or picture to help you visualize, remember, and relate to the scenario. In addition, if there was no emotion in this poem, it would be dull and no one would want to read it because there would not be anything in this poem for anyone to relate to or understand. This is because in a poem about love there have to be emotions such as, love, compassion, etc. The comment, "sparks were dancing between us" is effective because it is an unusual metaphor to describe the situation and not many authors would have chosen these words to describe how this bird is feeling. My favourite line in this poem is, "and all we could do was gaze," because of the emotion it describes. It describes all of the bird's sorrows and desperation. It makes you realize how much he loves the other bird, and how helpless he really is. It makes me feel his emotions. It makes me want to do something to help him although I really can't.
Mariam W
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree with this comment because they said the poem shows something that happens to couples portrayed by birds, which I think is what the author is trying to do. In a way, the birds symbolize 2 people with a connection, and who try to get closer and break free to be together. It also symbolizes a heartbreak, since the ending isn't how the bird (or person) had wanted it.
What makes the comment so effective is that it makes it easy to sense what the author is trying to make us feel. If there really were sparks on an electrical wire, it would electrocute the birds, but since it's a metaphor it makes the reader imagine the emotions and feelings of the birds.
My favorite line is "until i found you flew another way" because it's very unexpected and it makes the reader's heart drop, which is sad but gives an edge to the poem.
In the end, this poem made me feel upset and disappointed. When I started reading, I expected the 2 birds to find a way to be together, but it let me down because of the way the bird was careless and rejected the other bird.